Just like that, another Blue-White Weekend in Happy Valley has come and gone. Now, we must anxiously await our throttling of West Virginia, a scribble on our calendars that sits a long and treacherous 138 days away. While we wait, let’s take a look back at happier times. But first, an explanation of this blog’s title:
Like I tend to do, I recently met some people on the internet, who I then hung out with at a concert and subsequently became best friends with. The ages of these friends range from 18-26, with myself being dubbed the grandma of the group at the ripe old age of 28. I pride myself on the fact that most of them thought I was no older than 23.
After talking to these young grasshoppers every day for the past four months, I’ve picked up on some of their Gen Z language. The most notable word, that I may never stop overusing at this point, is “slay.” It’s just so versatile, and it is a part of me now. You can use it for literally anything, whether you’re being serious or sarcastic.
“That’s a slay.”
Try it, I promise you won’t be able to stop. Your non-Gen Z friends may get totally annoyed with you, but they’ll get used to it.
So you’ve heard of “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly,” but what about “The Slay, The Not-So-Slay, and The Nast-ay?” Let’s try it out for a recap of Blue-White Weekend. We all know that Omari Evans, Dani-Dennis Sutton, Tony Rojas, and Kaden Saunders were bright spots — I’ll be exploring the game beyond the game.
- A Very Golden Anthem: In my last blog, I insisted that Golden Israel-Achumba needed a recording contract, and if his pregame anthem performance doesn’t have every major label scrambling to beat one another to his signature, I don’t know what else to say. This kid is a national treasure. Nicholas Cage, don’t get any ideas — he’s ours and I will come for you if you attempt the steal.
- Omari’s unsportsmanlike penalty: Why is this a good thing? Because CJF made the refs call it on him, and it was hilarious. After his (very nice) touchdown, Omari Evans celebrated with a griddy that should be intensely studied by Mike Gesicki, and he was quickly disciplined. Not only was the flag thrown, but he was forced into a set of up-downs overseen by Chuck Losey, his mustache, KLS, and Olu. I’m all about letting the kids have fun, but with our luck, someone would celebrate like this and cost us a win againt Ohio State. It’s better to err on the side of caution.
- New Warm-ups: These are absolute FIRE. Or they’re cold. I guess in this case they mean the same thing. Kids and their lingo these days… Opposites meaning the same, saying “slay” 24/7… couldn’t be me! Anyway, I need one of these hoodies, bare minimum, if not the entire fit. I hate when the players wear cool stuff that I can’t buy. Happy for them, sad for us. Look good, feel good, feel good, play good, as Colorado’s head coach once said.
- Penn State Family: Lions Legacy Club hosted two amazing events this weekend that I was forunate enough to attend, one being a mixer on Friday night that included several players and their families. Some I knew from the Rose Bowl, some I met for the first time. Mr. Wheatley reaffirmed his status as one of my favorite people, and I had a great time chatting with Olu, DDS, and Landon Tengwall — incredible kids that we are lucky to have representing our beloved university. While tailgating on Saturday, I also met Fatman’s mother and aunt, who were a delight to talk to as well. We all love cheering on the team while they’re on the field, but these off-the-field moments with the players and their wonderful families are truly what make Penn State Football special. I’ll never take them for granted.
- Who is Dani Dennis-Daniels?: According to CJF, he had a great game, but I failed to see him take a snap. And it has nothing to do with how many Truly Margaritas I had prior to the game. We don’t even have anyone with the last name Daniels on the team. DDS had a great showing and DDD got the credit. Maybe Coach is just a huge fan of Guy Fieri and Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives? Maybe he was sending out a bat signal and is trying to manifest Guy as the team’s next motivational speaker? If that were the case, this would actually be a slay.
- Game Length: I blinked and it was over! Either that or I actually fell asleep — I was definitely getting close at one point, as it wasn’t the most riveting display of football I’ve ever seen. It was certainly a step up over last year’s format, whatever that was, but it still felt too short. Both offenses felt kinda discombobulated and like they didn’t get much of a chance to develop a solid rhythm.
- Feeling Old: At most games, there comes a point where I “scream myself into a headache,” a process which is likely exacerbated by the amount of alcohol and water (or lackthereof) that I have consumed beforehand. It’s usually not until I am yelling my head off like a wild banshee after a big play. On Saturday, however, the gameday headache hit me during the tailgate. No screaming, barely any alcohol, but also barely any water. Later on, a few college kids started raiding my box of Truly Margaritas, and someone asked if I cared. Admitting defeat rather quickly, I said, “Nah, let ’em have it.” They probably didn’t have a headache one hour into the day. A slay for the youths.
- Lodging Econo-style: I booked my hotel last minute, and the former accountant in me is still fairly cheap, so my brother and I ended up at the EconoLodge in Bellefonte. And when I say “my brother and I,” I actually mean “I,” because he ditched me and stayed both nights at his old frat. I didn’t realize I booked a smoking room, which is apparently still a thing in 2023, and immediately upon getting a whiff of that horrid smell, I pondered sleeping in my brother’s car instead. However, after careful consideration, sleeping outside of the EconoLodge seemed more sketch than sleeping inside of it. I bought a travel-sized spray deodorant downtown so that I could carry it in my purse all night, and fumigated my room with the entire can at 1AM. I am not sure what suffocated me more: the artificial cucumber scent, or the Marlboro Reds from 1988 that I was inhaling, but either way, I exited the weekend with only a slight cough. Kind of a slay.
- Weather: HORRIBLE! To think that a mere few days before the game, we were all (cautiously) giddy about the sunny, 80-degree, precipitation-free day we thought we were being delivered by the football gods. Nope, turns out they still hate us! I spent most of the day being jealous of everyone who wasn’t too much of a stubborn idiot to listen to their mother and wear a rain jacket. Luckily, a kind soul lent me a bright blue poncho, that I personally think I rocked. Bonus — I could ditch it for the game once it got a little nicer out. See mom, if I wore my jacket, I would’ve had to lug it around. I win!
- Portapotties: Did you miss them? I didn’t! Fairly early on in the day, a man walked out of the one I was about to enter and said, “Good luck, I didn’t make it any worse than it was.” Navigating them in a wet poncho did not make matters any easier. During one trip, I was reminded that it is in fact the off-season for the tailgaters too. I often place my phone in my back pocket, and once nearly forgot to take it out before crouching down into my half-squat (I hope none of you are fully sitting on those things). A phone in the toilet probably would’ve ruined my day more than if Drew had thrown three picks. Sure, I can get a new one, but it’s the principle. That just would’ve been embarrassing. Would’ve been funny to tweet about though. #ContentIsKing